Mark: Dearest Bianca,
Thank you so much for the unforgettable night. I had a truly wonderful time with you. From the moment I saw you sitting at the bar to kissing you goodbye.
I felt immensely connected with you in a way I do not connect with others. This very connection that has always been so elusive in my life is undoubtedly what I have been seeking relentlessly for these almost 41 years. Now that I've realised that I've found it, I thought it was sufficiently important for me to disclose the craziness of who I am. I would like to reiterate my gratitude for the gentle, kind and compassionate way you have handled my fears and insecurity.
After the incredibly passionate sex we experienced today, where both of us felt a profound connection and the sexual tension was lifted from me (I'm terribly sorry, but I desire you above anyone or anything else in my existence), I realised that) I am truly in love with you (this is no fantasy or empty words or some perverse trait of my personality - if you prefer I can say that I really like you so so much) and I) that I am entirely ready to go to any lengths to make this work. That is why I told you what I usually do in my relationships - I manipulate the whole situation to ensure that I will be very hurt. It is only by disclosing this to you that I stand a slim chance of not making the same mistake. I apologise for dumping another complexity of my personality onto you and am immensely grateful to you for your compassion.
Thank you, also, for the reminder that you are neither a challenging mathematical problem nor a puzzle I need to solve. You are indeed something very different - a unique, fascinating, incredibly sexy and seductive woman, whose intelligence, wit and humour have just swept me off my feet. I am a bit lost as this is uncharted territory for your Mark, hence, I beg you to be patient with me.
As you get to know me, you'll realise that there are two Marks- i) the bloke you know, but very few others do - a generous, kind, geeky and clumsy boyish man who lives in the moment and loves taking risks, and ii) the bloke everyone else knows, who is incredibly logical, strategic and sharp when it comes to the matters of the mind, who is unable to express feelings - they are merely a byproduct of his rational thinking. I would like you to know the existence of both and reassure you that I'll leave the latter home.
I also have to start accepting that I may be in a position of deserving you... This will not be easy, but I shall keep reminding myself that this may be the case.
I do appreciate that when it comes to men, you know what to do, how to do it and what to say. I really do, my love, and there is absolutely no need to prove it to yourself and/ or to me this time. You know you can have any man you fancy just by snapping your fingers. It's that easy. I'm begging you, however, just to be yourself with me. There's no need to do anything or say anything that is not entirely reflective of your authentic self. I'm way too involved, in love with you and fascinated by you not to be entirely ready to accept and love you exactly as you are.
If you have made it to this point in the message, the tears of boredom must be already rolling down your cheeks. I couldn't however fail to give myself the chance of reiterating these points to you.
One final point - After tonight I have come to accept that I need not to seek a reason beyond the stars to accept that something edifying and immensely enjoyable is developing between us. And, most importantly, the way I see what we have is that some relationships are simply beyond the concepts of good and evil.
Just remember that this clumsy geeky bloke really likes you and all he wants to do is to bring joy and happiness to your life.
Bianca, you are really special, my love.
I miss you dearly.
Love,
Mark 1:07 AM