Girlfriend…No one had called me their girlfriend in 5 years. The last person was my ex husband. I felt like a giddy high schooler with an insane crush. The high was just too good.
So far, there were only a couple of minor red flags. Like the fact that he said dishonesty triggered “strange reactions” in him. What did that mean exactly? Maybe I was reading too deeply into these things. Besides, text could get confusing. The correct tone doesn’t always translate in messaging. Or maybe there was a bit of a cultural language barrier between us. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. For now.
I decided to message my gay best friend Fillip and get his advice on the matter. It would be almost impossible to get him up to speed on all the developments that happened in such a short time, but a recap was certainly in order.
The conversation went something like this (abridged)
Me: Hi Fillip, I have a new boyfriend…
Fillip: Who is this rich Arab billionaire?
Me: Ha. No actually. He’s a married guy. A doctor…
Fillip: NO
Me: But …
Fillip: NO. Bianca. Why are you doing this? You can do better. Where can this relationship go? Men never leave their wives. And you are only pursuing things with a married man for one reason. It’s safe. You never have to fully emotionally open up. What about their kids?
Me: They don’t have kids. They never wanted them. His wife hates kids. You know what?… it doesn’t matter. Nevermind, I shouldn’t have told you any of this. Forget it.
Fillip: Bianca I am super worried about you. I don’t approve of this. AT ALL. Just stop.
Me: It’s all good. Don’t worry about me. Gotta go. Bye.
Holy shit. I logged off Facebook and slammed my Mac shut. The buzz kill shot straight through me and sobered me right up. I wasn’t prepared to be schooled by Fillip of all people. He was so incredibly open minded. I thought maybe he and I would justify the situation, laugh it off and agree to meet for a cocktail.
Fuck. Why had I casually glazed over the fact that the doctor was married? The world of arrangements was so bizarre that all rules seemed to be off the table. For the very first time I wondered about his wife. What was she like? What did she do? The doctor told me that she was aware of his indiscretions. I suddenly wondered why.
I cared for him. That was the first and only conclusion I could reasonably make. But I suddenly had lots of questions running through my mind...